A "No" Brainer...

Did you know that right before a baby figures out how to walk (at about 11 months old), her brain sprouts tons of new neural connections in her prefrontal lobes. Her brain is getting ready for all the exploring she will do on this new level! Shortly after there's a natural pruning that happens which clears away the excess connections that aren't being used. We seem to cringe when we hear that because I think we see potential that won't actualize. But the brain needs to streamline and get better at what we're good at rather than having too many irons in the fire....

But what I've read recently sheds new light on parenting and your baby's potential at this exciting stage of development. The prefrontal lobes is the part of the brain responsible for problem solving and creativity as opposed to the limbic system and the hind brain which take care of emotions and body functions (heart rate, breathing, digestion, aggression, etc). The limbic system is responsible for the decision to send an experience to the prefrontal lobes for thoughtful consideration OR back to the hind brain for fast action and survival. Consider this: How we discipline this toddler sets her up for how her brain will best handle situations that present themselves to her.

The average toddler hears NO!!! or receives a stern look or swat about every 9 minutes of their waking day. Those particular adult reactions to toddler behavior sends the toddler's hind brain into action. The prefrontal lobes do not get enough practice. Those new neural connections aren't being used much.

How can you say NO! without saying no?

Tell the child what TO do.
Get the child’s attention before communicating, touch them on the shoulder or hand...
Say the child’s name.
Use a gesture, move so you get into her visual field.
Show him an object or other visual cue to get him to look at you.
Help them know what TO do.
Using your singing voice calms you and the child.
Use a prompt, hand him a tissue instead of saying “Don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve.”
Use a gesture. Gestures can guide her to appropriate behavior. Point to the coat hookinstead of “Don’t drop your coat on the floor.”
Model what you want
Offer “Let’s do it together.” That can encourage children to do things with more enthusiasm.
Call attention to the “problem”.
Say “Oh, oh” “Oops!” “Look!” Then point to what needs to be done.
Look right at his face and clearly state what you want the child to do.
Take a deep breath..... and exhale.
Save NO! for emergencies! You'll need something strong then.

And parents, take care of yourself because it's a lot easier if you're not exhausted, hungry, stressed out....etc, etc! Your baby NEEDS a happy mom and a happy dad.

Bedtime Rituals

"Bedtime is a monumental moment to a baby or toddler, a time of transition in which parents hold nearly shamanistic power to tame the forces of darkness." - Meg Cox, The Heart of a Family, p.213.

Bedtime provides a time of connection for parents and children. As children grow, it is a time when parents find out what is really going on in their children's lives.

Simple Bedtime Rituals to share with your children:
1. Reading
2. Listening to the nighttime sounds
3. Inventing stories
4. Singing
5. Bedtime checklist (go to the toilet, brush teeth, story, kiss, turn out the light)
6. Back scratches and foot rubs.

Bedtime is a time for children to process their day, and it may take some children longer than others to do this. One little girl, I am told, will lie quietly talking to herself for 2 hours before falling asleep!

Little Linguists

By 18-20 months the average child is saying 15-20 words. Between two and two-and-a-half years old, this will increase to 50+ words and the use of two word sentences. Around her third birthday, she will have an expressive vocabulary of over 300 words, and should be understood by a non-family memeber 75-80% of the time.

Please keep in mind that these are guidelines, not rules. Each child is different and learns at their own pace, and most children will focus on one area of development at a time. In other words, if your child is really working hard to learn to walk or crawl, you might not see a lot of interest in communication. As always, if you have concerns about your child's language development, you should dicuss them with your pediatrician or a speech pathologist.

Nighty Night!

How many hours of sleep is your child getting? Failure to get enough sleep can lead to irritability, difficulty concentrating, and problems learning. Children under 3 years of age should sleep about 12 hours a night with a one hour nap during the day. Older children will sleep around 10 hours a night. I know it's sometimes easier to give in to unhealthy sleeping habits. Sleep deprivation can really wear you down, but the sooner you can establish healthy sleep patterns the better. Here are a few tips to remember:

- Activities leading up to bedtime should be calm and quiet.
- Establish a nightly bedtime routine so your child will know what to expect.
- Avoid using DVDs or the TV to help your child fall asleep.
- Dim the lights and any household noise to signal it is time for sleep.
- Try to help your child learn to self sooth and relax.

Don't forget to get your sleep too! (Not that I'm one to talk, particularly!)

One of my favourite nighttime rituals is one that I stole from our neighbours at the cabin (voices travel REALLY well over the water at night!). They were sitting outside on the porch before bed, and everyone had to share what their favourite part of the day was. I got the distinct impression that they did this every night. It seemed like a really great idea. Now my son and I whisper these to each other as I tuck him in.